She willed herself to not check her phone to see if he had replied. It had been about three days now. She hated that she was constantly checking his 'last seen at' status and yes, he had logged in just five minutes ago. Yet she couldn't stop herself. This sinking feeling to find absolutely no communication from him was becoming unbearable, almost torturous. And then, just as she sat down in her chair, her phone vibrated. With her heart thudding in her ear, she unlocked her phone and stared at the screen. Finally! It was his message. But when she opened it and read it, she nearly stopped breathing. She didn't know if he was joking or not. What was this?
Three days before…
They had known each other for almost a year now. She did not know if it was long enough to understand him completely. The only thing she knew was that she was in love with him.
They had met in college through a common friend and somehow their friendship had struck a chord. They started spending a lot of time with each other. They shared their happiness and problems with each other. They remained good friends for a while. They were almost inseparable. But slowly Aruna realized that she was falling for Bharat. For one they had a lot in common and for another he was exactly whom she wanted. She did not know when she started falling for him; but now that the damage was done, there was no looking back. Who could blame her? Bharat was the heart throb of all the girls in their college. He was handsome and played the guitar. His warm personality and cheerful disposition was enough to make girls drool over him.
Aruna had many friends in college but nobody seemed to understand her like Bharat. Aruna was a bit reserved by nature. But with Bharat she opened up and he had made her very comfortable. She had wanted to confess her love for him from a long time. But she had a lot of doubts and insecurities. She did not know if Bharat ever thought of her as more than a friend. Plus she did not know if she was ready for another relationship after a bad breakup with her previous boyfriend. Bharat had never said or done anything to show her that she was more than a friend but then so had she neither. She had always thought about how they would make a perfect couple and how the whole world would be jealous of them. There was also a flip side to it. What if he rejected her? Would it affect their friendship? What would she do without him? Should she put her friendship to risk for the sake of her love for him? She had no answers to these questions. The more she thought, the more complicated it became.
But over the past few months she had started to realize that her feelings for Bharat were genuine. So she had finally decided to do something about it before it was too late. She had wanted to discuss everything with her best friend and her hostel roommate Soumya. Soumya was her best friend in college. They had from the first day shared a special bond. They had never hidden anything from each other and they always had each other’s back. Soumya had even helped Aruna get over her bitter breakup with her previous boyfriend but she had never told Soumya that she loved Bharat. Aruna felt that she was cheating her friend by hiding this from her but she found no other way. Soumya and all of her friends used tease Aruna and Bharat calling them a couple but they had constantly denied anything of that sort between them. This was one of the prime reasons why Aruna had decided not to tell Soumya. Moreover Aruna did not know if Bharat did love her. Only after she was sure would she let anyone know. She did not want this to become the talk of the town.
Aruna could say anything and everything to Bharat yet she did not know how to say this to him. She had slept over this problem and finally decided that it was better if she texted him first since she was afraid of facing him. So she had decided that the time had come to finally tell him about her real feelings.
So that day as usual when they were messaging on Whatsapp, she decided to bring it up.
Aruna: “Bharat, I want to tell you something important.”
Bharat: “Sure; what is it? I am always here for you.”
Aruna: “I don’t know how to tell you this. But it has been on my mind for a long time. I have never been good with words so I will tell you straight away. I am in love with you Bharat.”
She hit the send button with shaking hands. She could hear her heart thumping. She did not know how he would react. She did not even know what he was thinking. She waited for the blue tick to appear which indicated that the message was read. After what seemed like a hundred years, the blue tick showed. She could feel the suspense almost killing her. But to her dismay Bharat immediately went offline.
She waited for a minute, then two minutes and finally an hour. Then she realized that he was not going to come online for a while. She did not know what to do. She tried calling him two times but he did not answer. If only he had told her what was in his mind. The whole night she could not sleep. She kept tossing and turning on her bed thinking about the possible responses from Bharat. She cursed herself for not having told him in person. They at least she could have deduced his response from his actions. Was Bharat angry with her? Is that the reason he is not responding? Did I lose a true friend with my foolishness? A million thoughts raced through her mind. She finally awoke the next day after a sleepless night.
One day before…
It had been two days since the incident and he still had not responded. She constantly tried calling him but he did not pick up her calls. She was desperate. The longer he took to reply, the more she was worried about his response. Since they were in their respective homes for vacations she had no way of contacting him.
Back to present…
The message read “I am sorry Aruna. I have always seen you as a good friend but not more. I also have something else to confess. From the past few months I have had a crush on Soumya but she does not know it. I did not know how to tell you all this which is why the delay in my response. I know I have hurt you deeply. I hope you will forgive me for this and remain a good friend to me.”
Aruna read it over and over. Her hands were trembling. She felt like her heart had been split open by a knife. Hot tears rolled down her red cheeks. She was devastated beyond words. She thought of all the beautiful memories with Bharat. Those were the only things left to hold on to. Who knows what would happen from now on. Who knows how their friendship would be hereafter. All her dreams about their future together disappeared in a split second. She did not know what to do anymore. This was what she got after waiting for three days. If this was what he had to say why couldn’t he do it earlier and save her the pain?
Aruna saw Bharat’s picture flashing on the screen of her phone. Bharat was calling her; what for now? Could he have hurt her more than what he had done now? She felt a crushing pain envelope her. The pain was so intense that she was almost numb.
She was too shocked to even move. Things were never going to be the same again between Bharat and her. She had lost her love and she had lost her friend. She switched off her phone. She hugged her pillow and cried herself to sleep. Only sleeping would help erase the pain at least temporarily.
A year and half later…
“Happy one year of togetherness Bharat and Soumya”, said Aruna as she hugged them both. All of Bharat’s and Soumya’s friends had gathered to celebrate their one year of relationship. Soumya looked stunning in her new turquoise dress. She beamed with happiness. Bharat looked handsome like he always did. His happiness could be seen clearly. There was an atmosphere of celebration and warmth. Bharat and Soumya were the ideal couple and was adored and envied by the whole college. Aruna faked a smile and tried to be happy for Soumya but deep inside she knew she would always mourn his loss.
When Bharat had confessed to Aruna that he loved Soumya, he had never anticipated the present turn of events. Aruna took some time to cope with the fact that Bharat could never be the love of her life. But as soon as she did, she realized that what Bharat had for Soumya was in fact true love. So she took the initiative to get Bharat and Soumya together. Aruna was indeed successful in this and she made sure that Soumya would never know about her feelings for Bharat. Aruna had sacrificed her happiness for the happiness of the two people in the world whom she loved the most. She loved Bharat but she wanted to see him happy even if it was not with her.