For the hundredth that day, I looked at my phone. No, no calls, no texts, no Facebook messages, no Whatsapp messages, no Hike messages, nothing! It had been straight four days with absolutely no contact whatsoever. But of course that did not stop me from checking my phone. Neither did it make me think that he might also have been thinking the same.
No I will not message him first or call him first or apologise to him. He was the one who started this fight and I was not going to let my ego lose. I was upset though I would not show it. I will act like everything is fine and smile all day long to show everyone that I was okay but deep within, it was not what I wanted. I haven’t been able to do anything without thinking about him. I couldn’t read, write, watch a movie or do anything without thinking about it at the back of my mind. It was just haunting. I just couldn’t concentrate on anything.
I could lie to everyone around me, put up a fake smile and fool everyone around me, but at the end of the day one cannot lie to oneself. I felt incomplete without him. It was as if all the happiness had been sucked out of me by a dementor. But my pride remained and I refused to hurt it.
For the umpteenth time, I replayed our fight over the phone that night.
“Arey why can’t you understand Anirudh that I was busy!”
“What busy?! You were so busy that you can’t just leave a reply to my message?! I am just jobless here right? Is that why I message you?”
“ No Anirudh, I didn’t mean that.”
“Then what Neha? What did you mean? Even I am busy. I have things to attend but I don’t do this stupid excuse of being busy!”
“It is not an excuse.”
“Please Neha, I am fed up of your excuses. If you are not interested in talking to me, just say that!”
“Okay fine Anirudh! Don’t believe me. Think whatever you please! I am not going to try convincing you. Bye!”
“Don’t disturb me again.Bye!”
And we both had slammed our phones. Yes, the matter was silly but when emotions take control of you, you lose the ability to think clearly. You get clouded by your anger and bound by your ego and pride to do anything sensible. The same had happened to us. Except; it has been four long days.
Four days without his cute good morning texts, late night talks with him, meetings at the mall or coffee shop and all the endless list of things. How I longed to see that smile of his which could make me melt; his voice which made any word sound beautiful. Basically; I missed him. I didn’t know what to do. Like everyone else, we have had our fair share of fights and arguments but none had lasted this long. We had never been able to stop talking to each other for so long. What happened to our relationship? The mere thought of losing him breaks my heart. No matter what he did or how angry I was or how much we fought, I still loved him and isn’t that what mattered?
My phone suddenly broke into the familiar ringtone breaking my profound chain of thoughts. Finally he was tired of missing me I thought. I instantly grabbed my phone in ecstasy. Oh how wrong I was. It was not Anirudh. Even the last ray of hope in me faded. It was from his best friend Trun. I wonder what he wants now. I was not in a mood to talk. I decided to ignore the call. But then surprisingly he called again. This time I picked up the call.
“Hello Tarun”, I spoke making no effort to hide the irritation in my voice.
“Neha….” I sensed a kind of urgency in his voice.
“What happened Tarun? Are you alright?”, I instantly forgot that I was irritated my his untimely call.
“I…I…that…”, it was almost as if he was crying.
“Tarun please! Just tell me what happened!”
“Ani and I, we were both going on my bike and we met with an accident. I was saved miraculously with just a few minor injuries but he…he is in coma…”, and he broke into a sob.
I needed to hear no more. I felt the world around me spin. I felt as if time had frozen. Was I dreaming? Hot tears flowed down my cheeks. How I wished this was all part of a nightmare. But no it was as real as the daylight.
At that very instant my phone rang again. I thought it was Tarun again but it was Ani. What??!! Wasn’t Ani in the hospital? In all the confusion I picked up the phone and barely managed to say a Hello.
“Neha…”, there was Ani’s sweet voice. I couldn’t believe my ears.
“Ani, where are you? I am sorry I love you. I really do. Please don’t leave me.”
“Neha I love you too.”
“Ani where are you? Are you alright?”
“I am at my friend’s home. Why do you sound so alarmed? Did Tarun call you?”
“Oh my God I am so relieved! Yes Tarun had called me and told me that you had met with an accident. I was so worried. Thank God you’re safe.”
“I knew it! He had called me too a few minutes back and told me you were in the hospital. But I smelled a rat which is why I called you up immediately. It was his trick to resolve our fight.”
“I am sorry Ani. I realize my mistake.”
“I am sorry too. There is mistake on my part too. I love you.”
“Let’s call up Tarun. We owe him on this one.”
We called him up and thanked him for the clever ruse. The very next day we surprised him with a treat.
No I will not message him first or call him first or apologise to him. He was the one who started this fight and I was not going to let my ego lose. I was upset though I would not show it. I will act like everything is fine and smile all day long to show everyone that I was okay but deep within, it was not what I wanted. I haven’t been able to do anything without thinking about him. I couldn’t read, write, watch a movie or do anything without thinking about it at the back of my mind. It was just haunting. I just couldn’t concentrate on anything.
I could lie to everyone around me, put up a fake smile and fool everyone around me, but at the end of the day one cannot lie to oneself. I felt incomplete without him. It was as if all the happiness had been sucked out of me by a dementor. But my pride remained and I refused to hurt it.
For the umpteenth time, I replayed our fight over the phone that night.
“Arey why can’t you understand Anirudh that I was busy!”
“What busy?! You were so busy that you can’t just leave a reply to my message?! I am just jobless here right? Is that why I message you?”
“ No Anirudh, I didn’t mean that.”
“Then what Neha? What did you mean? Even I am busy. I have things to attend but I don’t do this stupid excuse of being busy!”
“It is not an excuse.”
“Please Neha, I am fed up of your excuses. If you are not interested in talking to me, just say that!”
“Okay fine Anirudh! Don’t believe me. Think whatever you please! I am not going to try convincing you. Bye!”
“Don’t disturb me again.Bye!”
And we both had slammed our phones. Yes, the matter was silly but when emotions take control of you, you lose the ability to think clearly. You get clouded by your anger and bound by your ego and pride to do anything sensible. The same had happened to us. Except; it has been four long days.
Four days without his cute good morning texts, late night talks with him, meetings at the mall or coffee shop and all the endless list of things. How I longed to see that smile of his which could make me melt; his voice which made any word sound beautiful. Basically; I missed him. I didn’t know what to do. Like everyone else, we have had our fair share of fights and arguments but none had lasted this long. We had never been able to stop talking to each other for so long. What happened to our relationship? The mere thought of losing him breaks my heart. No matter what he did or how angry I was or how much we fought, I still loved him and isn’t that what mattered?
My phone suddenly broke into the familiar ringtone breaking my profound chain of thoughts. Finally he was tired of missing me I thought. I instantly grabbed my phone in ecstasy. Oh how wrong I was. It was not Anirudh. Even the last ray of hope in me faded. It was from his best friend Trun. I wonder what he wants now. I was not in a mood to talk. I decided to ignore the call. But then surprisingly he called again. This time I picked up the call.
“Hello Tarun”, I spoke making no effort to hide the irritation in my voice.
“Neha….” I sensed a kind of urgency in his voice.
“What happened Tarun? Are you alright?”, I instantly forgot that I was irritated my his untimely call.
“I…I…that…”, it was almost as if he was crying.
“Tarun please! Just tell me what happened!”
“Ani and I, we were both going on my bike and we met with an accident. I was saved miraculously with just a few minor injuries but he…he is in coma…”, and he broke into a sob.
I needed to hear no more. I felt the world around me spin. I felt as if time had frozen. Was I dreaming? Hot tears flowed down my cheeks. How I wished this was all part of a nightmare. But no it was as real as the daylight.
At that very instant my phone rang again. I thought it was Tarun again but it was Ani. What??!! Wasn’t Ani in the hospital? In all the confusion I picked up the phone and barely managed to say a Hello.
“Neha…”, there was Ani’s sweet voice. I couldn’t believe my ears.
“Ani, where are you? I am sorry I love you. I really do. Please don’t leave me.”
“Neha I love you too.”
“Ani where are you? Are you alright?”
“I am at my friend’s home. Why do you sound so alarmed? Did Tarun call you?”
“Oh my God I am so relieved! Yes Tarun had called me and told me that you had met with an accident. I was so worried. Thank God you’re safe.”
“I knew it! He had called me too a few minutes back and told me you were in the hospital. But I smelled a rat which is why I called you up immediately. It was his trick to resolve our fight.”
“I am sorry Ani. I realize my mistake.”
“I am sorry too. There is mistake on my part too. I love you.”
“Let’s call up Tarun. We owe him on this one.”
We called him up and thanked him for the clever ruse. The very next day we surprised him with a treat.
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words…